


Tin Tabloids

by jeymien



Category: Alice (TV 2009), Tin Man (2007)
Genre: Crack, Crossover, tabloid style
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2008-08-26
Updated: 2010-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-06 04:42:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 3,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13403703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeymien/pseuds/jeymien
Summary: Tabloid/gossip mag style post series.





	1. Central City Suns,  Issue 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work started off as a crack!fic and somehow people liked it.

****

 

**Does the new restored House of Gale needs some cleaning?**

 

Two little princesses dancing in a row, indeed... Recently restored pretty Princess DG was spotted getting lively on a girls’ night out with her dethroned sis Azkadee at local hotspot DeMilo’s (formerly used by the Mystic Man). Rumor has it that DG has helped bankroll the hotspot for owner Antoine DeMilo. The two sisters partied with DeMilo and pals until the wee hours of the morning. They seemed to be enjoying the evening out on their own, though our Ms. Azkadee seemed nervous around people when left alone. Both left together at closing, blowing kisses to Mr. DeMilo as they left. While this is the reclusive Azkadee‘s first appearance in the six months since the Eclipse, DG has been seen out and about the realm with several different men in tow. Seems our Princess has fine taste in men as well, with choices such as ex-Tin Man and royal advisor Wyatt Cain, his son Resistance Captain now Royal Guard Captain Jeb Cain (how about that, the genes passed on well in that family! Not to mention, that’s gotta be nasty around the family home, competing over the same Princess!) and advisor to the Queen Ambrose all on her dance card. Share some with the rest of us, Princess! Everyone’s mum on why Ms. Azkadee has been avoiding society though. The royal family PR rep tells us no comment. Insiders tell us that there have been numerous medical experts visiting though… Is there something wrong within the Gale household?


	2. Central City Suns, Issue 2

****

**Has Azkadee found a boy toy?**

This just in… Princess Azkadee was seen today going into newly opened eatery Emerald with friend Airofday. The two women, who were introduced by Antoine DeMilo, enjoyed a quick lunch and then split up when Ms. Azkadee joined up with Mr. DeMilo himself. Mr. DeMilo tried to pose for the camera, but Azkadee pulled him into the limo with her instead. What is our little Azkadee up to?

 

**Paparazzi assaulted outside palace**

Also in royal family news, Royal Advisors Cain and Ambrose assaulted several photographers outside of the Central City Palace. The two men were seen exiting the palace and the paparazzi then surrounded them. Several expensive pieces of equipment were nearly destroyed until it was agreed that the pics taken would be handed over. Witnesses say that Cain and Ambrose are VERY close. Maybe those rumors about them and the Princess aren’t true then? What are the two men trying so hard to hide?


	3. Central City Suns, Issue 3

****

 

**Princess caught frolicking nude**

Another night, another report of the partying princesses…  
   
It seems Princess Azkadee has changed much more than everyone thought.  After another evening of partying at DeMilo’s, with what is coming to be called the Gale Gang, our Azkadee has decided if you’ve got, it flaunt it (a motto of hers annuals before, but now she’s going a lot further).  The Gale Gang of course consists of Princesses DG and Azkadellia, Jeb Cain, Airofday, Antoine DeMilo and his girls.  Princess Azkadee seems to have decided to do without her clothes during a stop on the limo ride home.  While her companions stayed inside the limo, Ms. Azkadee (who seems to have decided that clothing is optional for Princesses) took a midnight streak through the Central City Park.  The Gale Gang was seen laughing as the Princess returned to the limo, she then put her clothes back on and sat down inside, closing the door behind her.  Unfortunately, photos of the incident are not available, as the royal family has ordered no paparazzi within camera distance since the assaults last week.


	4. Central City Suns, Issue 4

****

**New Addition to Royal Household!**

Princess DG introduced the newest addition to her family today. The small puppy, which she called Toto, had inadvertently jumped out of her oversized purse while barking at paparazzi that had gotten close. Within hours, O.P.C.W.E. (Ozians for the Proper Care of Wildlife Entities) released a press release about how the Royal Family is endangering Toto by keeping in a purse, instead of letting him run free on the Palace grounds.

**Azkadee in love?**

In other news, Princess Azkadee has been seen about town with one of Princess DG’s beaus! Last evening, witnesses saw her and Jeb Cain taking a romantic evening walk by the lake. I wonder how her DG is taking losing one of her men to her own sister. Sources close to the family tell us that Jebaz (as yours truly is calling them) could be in love. Will there be wedding bells in the future?

**Trouble at the Top?**

As well, both Advisor Cain and Advisor Ambrose have been seen leaving the Central City Palace at odd times, day and night. However, neither has been seen together since the assault incident. Neither will comment to the press either, though there have been a few altercations between reporters and the advisors.


	5. Central City Suns, Issue 5

****

 

**Royal Rumors…**

It appears there may be something to those “illness at the palace” rumors… and it may be the Queen! Lately, our Lavender has been looking a little under the weather, rumor is this is why she has started to delegate duties to her daughters and consort. Whispers are that this is why DG hasn’t been seen in public as much lately. That doesn’t explain why Azkadee seems to have a ton of time on her hands! BF Jeb has been sent on a military mission to deal with stray Longcoats, so she’s enjoying the time by herself. Since her other half has been gone, Azkadee has been out partying till dawn every night. The heir to the throne has been inseparable from best buds Antoine DeMilo and Airofday for the last week.

**Furry Dealings**

Viewer Ambassador Raw has settled in at the palace for what seems to be a long stay. He’s been given quarters near the royal family and is seen entering the Queen’s quarters every morning. This gives some possible truth to the rumors that Her Majesty is ill. The Royal family representatives deny that there is anything wrong with the Queen, however, and they released a statement to the public that reads “Her Majesty is perfectly healthy, she is delegating duties to her daughters for training purposes. They are leaders within the community and could use the experience.” It’s either this, or the Queen has a taste for the furry lifestyle.

   
 **Advice for the Advisors...**

The odd hours the Royal Advisors were keeping seems to have calmed down, though altercations still seem inevitable as both men seem to zealously guard their privacy. They meet regularly for coffee every morning however, though they deny any rumor of involvement (me thinks, they might protest too much? Just come clean boys!).

 


	6. Central City Suns, Issue 6

****

 

**Girls will be Girls**

Princess Azkadee continues to see Captain Cain (sounds like a superhero, can I get my own action hero figure? Mmm, maybe one that’s fully functional like Azkadee’s?) , though reps for the royal family tell us that “they’re just friends”. Inside sources tell me that Jebaz appears to be going strong though, but the two lovebirds want to keep their romance under the radar. Rumor is that Princess DG is in a snit over it (well, who can blame her?) and the two sisters aren’t talking. BFF over so soon? Oh well, that’s what sisters do right? The two of them have a lot of fighting over dolls and toys to catch up on. (And what a toy, indeed, meow girls).   Family friend Airofday let slip that “DG’s soooo over that” but maybe the claws are starting to show?   After all, DG and Azkadee haven’t been seen together now in weeks, well, outside of family functions. 

**Naughty Dealings**

Continuing on the royal family entourage news, Antoine DeMilo was caught with 2 bottles of vapors and charged with possession of a narcotic. Central City's Tin Men staged a raid on his club, but nothing was found to link the vapors with anyone other than DeMilo. nor were anymore bottles found. However, there’s rumors the investigation is focused on the Royal family now, what with DG helping bankroll his club and all.

 

**Mysterious Furry Visitor**

Paparazzi recently witnessed a Viewer going into the palace through a backdoor, trying to avoid the crowds. Why does the Royal family need a Viewer visiting? Is it related to the earlier rumors of illness? Also, why did they feel the need to hide the visit? Reps for the family released a statement that “Ambassador Raw of the Viewers is a friend of the family visiting for a short period of time. He’s just very sensitive to crowds.” That’s the official line folks... I wonder what the unofficial is?


	7. Central City Suns, Issue 7

****

 

**National Holiday**

The Royal family has declared a national holiday on the anniversary of the Eclipse. There will be festivities during the day at the Central City Park, as well as on the waterfront, and in the evening there will be a formal ball at the Palace for the nobility. The crème de la crème will be in attendance, we assume. Invitations have been sent out to neighboring kingdoms as well as regional leaders in the O.Z. 

   
**Lonely princess needs a partner?**

The Queen did not appear for the announcement; it was instead made jointly by the Crown Princesses, accompanied by the Royal Advisors.  While we’re pretty sure Jebaz will be in attendance, we can’t help wonder, who will be DG’s date?  Will this ball help introduce suitors to our loneliest princess?  **  
**

****  
Continuing Rumors  
Rumors continue to spread about the Queen being ill, said rumors spun on by the fact that she hasn’t been seen in public now since beginning to delegate duties to her family.  The Viewer family friend also has not left the palace.  Coincidence?  Her Consort was overheard making specific food requests for the Queen to servers, as “her stomach is very delicate right now.”  Should we be making plans for a coronation too? 

 

Do you have a hot tip?  
Can you provide celebrity pictures?  
  
The Central City Suns are looking for contributors to write columns, provide pictures, and whatever else may catch your eye. If interested, please contact the editor, [ **tin_tabloids**](https://tin-tabloids.dreamwidth.org/).  


	8. Central City Suns, Issue 8

  
  
**Thank You Princess!  
**   
The last column written in the Central City Suns led to rampant speculation that Queen Lavender may have a baby bump. While we have no official comment from the Palace on this, paparazzi are watching (at a discreet distance, after the many altercations with the Royal Advisers) for any hint that this may be true. The O.Z. would prefer to hear news of such upcoming joy, rather than worry that their Monarch is ill.

Oddly, we may have confirmation from within the family itself.  Paparazzi ambushed Princess DG and Advisor Ambrose coming out of a meeting with representatives from the Vinkus tribes of the west.   Amidst the kerfuffle that grew around her as reporters yelled questions at her, the Princess got flustered and we got our one answer.  

“For God’s sake people, they were apart for fifteen years. What was that, Glitch?  Oh for Pete’s sake, fine, fifteen annuals.  Is that better?  Anyways, what do YOU think happened?  She’s not exactly OLD.”

Thank you Princess.  Now if only we could manage to get her to answer about who will be accompanying her to the ball…?


	9. Central City Suns, Issue 9

****

 

**Lots of fish in the sea**

Rumors appear to confirm that the ball will include a presentation of suitors to Princess DG. We can confirm that invitations have been mailed to all bachelors of appropriate rank within and outside the kingdom. It seems our Princess gets to have a quite the evening. Hopefully some of them are good looking too. Every girl deserves a little eye candy if she’s going to be searching for her Prince Charming.

**Altercation at DeMilo’s**

Tin Men were called late last night when a brawl broke out last night at DeMilo’s. Oddly, this time it wasn’t the Royal Advisors, but the Princesses. The Gale gang was up to its usual evening antics. Looks like DG and Azkadee made up, plus DG managed to make time in her busy schedule to blow off a little steam. (It looks like she definitely did that!) As always, there is yet an official response from the Palace, but sources tell us that the sisters took exception to Mr. DeMilo insinuating that their mother had been unfaithful to their father. No one is exactly sure as the sequences of events as they happened afterwards, or which sister did it, but all the glass in the building was shattered by time the situation was resolved. Mr. DeMilo is already talking about suing for damages to his establishment, as well as his person. Seems one of our Princesses has a good right hook, DeMilo has quite the shiner. Both sisters had to be separated from Mr. DeMilo; luckily Captain Cain was back in town and spending time with Azkadee so he was able to intervene. By the time Tin Men arrived at the building, the altercation had been ended, but everyone involved was escorted to the district precinct for questioning. The Royal Family has still not officially confirmed that the Queen is pregnant, but given how they are acting it seems fairly evident that there will be a third child joining the household.

**Shiny! But who for?**

Advisors Cain and Ambrose were recently seen shopping at upscale jewelry shops (separately). Each made at least one purchase, but shop owners refused to tell us what those purchases were and witnesses were unable to get close enough to see for themselves. I can’t help but wonder what glittering objects the two of them picked up, and who they were for?


	10. Central City Suns, Issue 10

****

 

**Consequences, Shmonsequences?**

Our favorite twosome were held for questioning and released.  According to Tin Man spokesperson, Sgt. Walter Wilkerson, charges are pending  the result of an investigation into the incident.  In a press conference later in the day after the release, Mr. DeMilo’s lawyer Francis Wollan demanded accountability from the Gale family and swift action from the Ozian  justice system.  Mr. DeMilo was in attendance at the press conference, a fact that Mr. Wollan used.  “Just look at the black eye my client sports!  There is no need for an investigation! That in itself is proof of the actions of those two hoodlums!”  Mr. DeMilo did indeed sport a huge shiner on his left eye.  “There is also no disputing that my client’s establishment in in shambles.  The only two magic users in there were those Gale terrors!”  While Mr. Wollan’s rhetoric was over the top, there certainly does seem enough to press charges.  Exactly what sort of influence is the Gale family holding over the justice system?  Will these two walk away with nothing more than a slap on the wrist due to their celebrity status?  After all, Ms. Azkadee got away with a lot more no more than a year ago…

Palace spokespersons have also released a confirmation that yes, Queen Lavender is expecting and that Healer Raw of the Viewers has consented to be in attendance on her,  in case of any complications.    There was also a brief response to a question about rumors of the Queen’s infidelity.  “Such rumors are ludicrous.  Her Majesty is happily reunited with her consort and he is most definitely the father.”  When asked about the younger members of the family, the reply was that there would be no comment until the Tin Men complete their investigation.    
  
The anniversary of the Eclipse inches ever closer, and I promise you, loyal reader, I will be in attendance.  The red carpet awaits!


	11. We won an award!

 

 

The Central City Suns is happy to announce that we've won an award!  Thank you to all of our readers!


	12. Central City Suns, Issue 11

**Vapours and Azkadee!**

It appears there's a new trouble to bother the Gale family.  As the Sorceress, Azkadee had introduced vapours to the O.Z.   Now it's come out that vapours are made of people!  Well, people's emotions.  While it has been no secret that the Red Queen of Wonderland makes teas from people's emotions, it was cleverly kept quiet that the Sorceress had made a deal with the Queen for the formula and had been experimenting herself with it.  Considering many of those she had taken prisoner are missing still a year later, this is something Ms. Azkadee will have to do something about.  


**Visitors from Wonderland**

Speaking of Wonderland, the Red Queen has sent her heir, Jack Heart to the O.Z.  He, along with the Lady Duchess, will be attending the Eclipse Gala and staying for about a week to renegotiate trade relations with the new/old rulers.  I'm told he's a tasty treat,  maybe our single Princess will find him to her liking.  The Lady Duchess isn't bad on the eyes either.  I'm sure one of our resident men would find her irresistable.  


**An end to legal issues**

Police have decided to drop all charges against the Gale girls.  It seems it was Azkadee that threw the punch that gave Mr. DeMilo a black eye though.  What a right hook!   However, it was decided that since the Gale girls are undergoing training for their magical abilities, anger management classes would be added to that training.  Both girls have agreed.  Mr. DeMilo's lawyer, Mr. Francis Wollan made a public statement that Mr. DeMilo would not be contesting this decision.  Mr. DeMilo also announced that there would be a new addition added to his establishment, and he would be open into the late hours after the Eclipse Gala for a Grand Reopening.  Do you see what I see there? 


	13. Central City Suns, Issue 12

 

Whew, after the Gala last night, this trusty reporter has alot to go over.

**Secret Identity Revealed!**

Our first report of the evening concerns Gale gang girl, Airofday. It seems that's not her real name. Who is shocked with me? No one? Yeah, I didn't think so. What is a shock is WHO our Ms. Airofday is. She is no other than Lady Jacqueline Diamond. Her family fled Wonderland years ago, and were living in exile in the O.Z. When the Sorceress came to power and discovered her family, the Diamonds had to hide again. How does this lowly reporter know this? One of the Clubs in Prince Jack's entourage recognized her! What a topsy turvy world this is!

**The Situation of the Lonely Princess**

It appears that the Duchess and Jack Heart are a couple, the blonde vixen didn't let the Prince out of her sight all evening. Poor DG was left alone most of the evening. The only men that danced attendance on her were the two Advisors. Even the local nobility that came avoided the Princess. I overheard quite a few who discussed how she scared them, and also that her Other Side ways were a disgrace to the Royal family. Seems there's no suitors available for the lovely DG.

**Do I Smell A Coverup?**

As I mentioned the two Advisors were dancing attendance on Princess DG. But there were some interesting glances thrown between the two of them, when they thought no one else was looking. Am I seeing sparks where there are none? Now, are they both interested in DG, or were they just keeping her company? Is Princess DG a beard?

**The Queen Attended**

Her Majesty, Lavender, graced the Gala with her presence as well, though only for a short time. As always, pregnancy agrees with her. She did look tired though and was accompanied by Viewer Raw the whole time. The Prince Consort also watched her worriedly the whole time she was there.

**No Hard Feelings**

After the Gala ended, the party continued at DeMilos till the early hours of the morning. The Gale gang was all there, and this time there were no altercations.


End file.
